Anything is Possible a Guest blog by Neil Kirby

This ground-breaking project helps raise the aspirations and achievements of children and young people by focusing on the child as an encourager.

It is a package of tools for teachers and youth leaders to encourage children to take responsibility for their own learning, improve their own focus and effort, and to encourage those around them.

The children act as ‘encouragers’ or young coaches in ways that coaches encourage people in sport or business for example. 

The package encourages children to find their “red rubber ball” - a metaphor for our passions; the things that interest and excite each of us, whether it be sport, music, art, business, fashion, animals, journalism …… 

As Richard Branson says, “If you can indulge in your passion, life will be far more interesting than if you're just working.  You'll work harder at it, and you'll know more about it”.

Focusing on the four elements of Choice, Passion, Vision, and Action – children support each other through open discussion and questioning to establish their hopes, aspirations and dreams for the future.

The children appreciate the benefit of having higher aspirations for themselves, understand what motivates them and discover what they need to do to achieve their dreams and aspirations.

‘That you have to chase your dream not just sit there!’

‘You have to work to get your goal’

‘It’s never too late to change’

Here’s just one example:

A young boy, Tim, identified that he’d like to be an architect.  We encouraged him to think about what he might do to make that happen and he concluded to become really good at science and maths.  So we encouraged him to explore this further, to become more specific and he decided to start with fractions.

Later that day his teacher approached me. “Do you know what just happened?” she said.  “Tim came and asked if I could give him some extra fractions to practice at home”.  She could not recall a boy EVER asking for extra maths homework!

It will be a while before we know if Tim does become an architect.  But we do know that he understands that HE is the one who’ll make it happen and he’s started to do something about it.

The Self Confidence coach will be running the Anything is Possible Saturday club for 6 weeks in Stevenage.  Please email medgar238@gmail.com for further details.

Being Self - less

I am a Christian, a deeply flawed one but I know I'm not alone on that score.  But I've been grappling with the paradox of being self less and having self confidence.  I have not totally figured it out yet but I know this much is true.  Knowing who you are is very important.  If you are making a sacrifice I think you need to know why you are doing it.  I used to think that I must sacrifice everything for my children. So I didn't buy new clothes regularly, I stopped going away for regular short breaks. One day I knew I looked and felt rough and to boot a family member saw me and I felt even worse.  What was I doing to myself?! 

This sacrificial thinking went on for some years until I lost a sense of myself.  I was catering for everyone else except myself.  I had lost sight of my own passions and purpose and it left me feeling down, helpless and frustrated.  The phrase loving myself was alien to me.  How did you do that?  What did it really mean? 

Over the past two years I've been rediscovering who I am and what makes me tick.  This reflections showed me that a lot of things I plan for my children is not just for them its for me too. They do a lot of parks and walking and outdoor pursuits which I like. Then I looked for times I could do something for myself by myself.  Swimming was one of the first things I did when starting to love myself.

I was challenged again this week by something I read in Joyce Meyers book 100 Ways to Simplfy your Life.  I opened a page randomly and it said to doing something for someone else takes the emphasis off concentrating on your own problems and conversely you'll feel better about yourself.  

Well I did it.  I took a friend for breakfast and listened to her.  I shared what had worked for me and yes I did feel good.  I had a clearer head as my problems were not crowding my head space and I managed to make some career resolutions. My friend also showed appreciation for the time spent.  

I know there are many times you do something self less where there is no gratification instant or delayed.  Parts of motherhood can seem like that.  Its only when you actively sit and reflect sometimes that you think "I feel good that  I did that." or I will not be doing that again or you draw a boundary that you will do thing if certain conditions are met. 

 It can be harmful if you are always giving out and not receiving any benefit for yourself.  Its like being a jug of water, if you pour to 10 glasses without refilling you become empty.  

What can you refill yourself with? It may be prayer, meditation, reflection, journalling, exercise or simply nourishing your physical being.

Therefore like many things in life being both self less and self confident requires balance.

My transformation

A year ago I was 3 stones heavier. I was depressed, restless and wanting desperately for my life to better.  In March of last year I had coffee with a friend who I'd known for a couple of years.  She knew that I'd been trying to work for myself but she knew my story.  I was talking to her and I started crying and I will never forget what she said to me in a very loving way.  You can do all these things but sort yourself out first.
She told me that there is no shame in getting the Dr to give me anti depressants.  I was horrified at the suggestion of drugs as I'm very much a holistic medicine type of person.  But I was so low I went and booked a Doctor's appointment - I didn't end up going to the until a month later.

The Doctor discouraged me from taking anti depressants as they were not a short term fix.  I can't remember what he suggested as an alternative.  So I left the surgery thinking there's one last thing I'm going to try - diet and exercise.  But I couldn't afford gym membership how could I do this?

In July 2012 Dax Moy offered a free Summer challenge.  It involved eliminating all processed foods out of my diet and daily exercise. I had done one of his 30 day challenges twice before and I lost weight but I only did the diet for about 15 days.  This time I was determined to do a clean diet and exercise together for the first time in my life.
I had exercised on and off after I left I left school  but apart from walking and sporadic yoga I didn't have an exercise routine.   It was hard at first.  I followed the diet as much as I could. I was to do the prescribed exercise 3 times a day.  But I just did one because I was walking 6 times a day to do school and nursery runs.

I stuck to the programme as I saw results almost immediately.  You have to drink a lot of water 1litre for every 50lbs you weighed so your body dumps the toxins. I could see a difference in day 2.  My ever growing stomach had reduced.

I did various challenges until July this year.  Today I am the same weight as I was at 22.  I feel 22.  I've got the authentic Melanie back - the mad, cheeky, loving laughter creative.  Gone was the sad, dry, self pitying empty shell of a woman.  I also did a lot of personal development and a lot of prayer, counselling.  You can't work on the outer without working on the inner.  The final act was believing in myself and just allowing myself to be.  And as Jim Rohn said I "Just do it."  No overthinking, I just did it.
I'm still a work in progress.  But there's a tangible change.
What do you want for you life.  The power to change starts with you.  It could start by doing one thing and doing it over and over again til you've mastered it. There are no quick fixes in life.  Its one foot in front of the other and its about having values and honouring them.
Can you transform yourself with some help - YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT!!!!

Visit www.londonpersonaltraining.com for a free download of the elimination diet.